How I Lost My Virginity

I went to Alfred E. Smith Vocational High School. I heard that it was closing down a few years ago, but can't be bothered to find out if it closed down. Anyway, I digress. 

Smith was low on "bitches" as my brother Chubby would say. Plus, back in those days I was an angry metalhead geek with furry chaps and a hairstyle my Garifuna friend described as "Sideshow Bob-ish."

I got a total of two measly blow jobs all the way until college. Fortunately, I had the whole Spanish and Latino thing at Yale, and could thus pretend to be more than just a loser.

I was merenguing my ass close to every chick I could, and enough were buying the routine. I dated a Chinese Quaker chick for like a week my first month, but I was too much of a loser to get anything but a neck licking out of it. 

Soon followed a Basque chick from Puerto Rico, but I never got beyond a titty lick. It wasn't really until November of my freshman year at Yale that I would get some real action. 

I'd seen her around Vanderbilt hall a few times throughout the semester. I knew her as the mutual friend of a Portuguese classmate of mine. I was so detached from women at nearly all-boys Smith, that I couldn't even recognize that she was trying to mack on me the minute she laid eyes on me.

She was the only biracial  girl in her Mid-West school, and just couldn't resist that we had a similar skin color. I couldn't resist the massive sight of her tits and that bunda, as my Brazilian brethren call a nice ass. 

So, somehow she ended up in my common room in Lawrence, apparently brought over by an unsuspecting suitemate of mine. I do remember vividly that it was the night before the Harvard-Yale game. I don't remember because I am a fan of The Game, or the sport for that matter, but rather because of what I would do, or rather, fail to do the next day. 

That night the biracial babe and I rubbed, and I convinced her to give me a blow job. Or rather, 4. Yes, it was a very one-sided affair. She'd already had a boyfriend back in Illinois, so she wasn't a virgin.

Each blow job consisted of me telling her not to care about the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. "Long distance relationships don't work," I assured her. "High school relationships don't last," I informed her between each blow job. It was my first real intense blow job session.

I jabbed my fingers inside of her, thinking that I was doing something, but I think she got off more on me being brown and Latino. So, I black out, worn out, and we spend the night cuddling. She liked the cuddling more than anything, so the day of The Game we hang out together, and at some point in the afternoon we find ourselves in a room of the princess suite in Vanderbilt.

A waist-high bed in a tiny double, but whatever, she was still privileged. I'd finally, after two months of not getting anything in college, decided to convince her that we needed to go all the way.

My idea of penetrating a woman consisted of what I'd seen on the Spice Channel: vicious pounding and insults. I thus hopped that biracial babe missionary style and, having exhausted myself the previous night, could only sustain a minute-long, half-limped brutal session. During the whole ordeal, I shouted, "Yea, take it, you slut! Take it, you whore!" expecting her to be having the time of her life.

I couldn't even cum considering the previous night, and just went dead before asking her, "did you cum?" 

She unconvincingly nodded, "yea." 

Before she even finished nodding "yea," she started crying; "yea, I am a whore, I cheated on my boyfriend!" 

I consoled her, but then realized that losing my virginity consisted of half-dick pounding, and making the girl cry in shame. And that, my friends, was how I lost my virginity.