Domestic Enemy

What is the best way to rally a population behind a war? Fear and anger. If the population is afraid and angry, the government could justifiably pass draconian legislation or invade foreign countries almost at will.

 

Indeed, no one understands fear and anger better than America's Top Brass and secret intelligence chiefs. They spend days sitting around while doing nothing but thinking of how to take someone down. In 1962, America's Top Brass sat around and thought of way that they could "justifiably" invade Cuba. "Justifiably" means nothing more than popular support, even if that popular support is gained through manufactured means, through deceit. Operation Northwoods was such a manufactured means.

 

Exactly four months and 11 days before the attacks of 9/11, ABC revealed: "The plans had the written approval of all the Joint Chiefs of Staff and were presented to Kennedy's defense secretary." So, what exactly did Operation Northwoods entail? ABC writes: "plans included the possible assassination of Cuban émigrés, sinking boats, hijacking planes, blowing up a US ship, and even orchestrating violent terrorism in US cities." 

 

America's top military leaders coldly calculated that a war with Cuba was so needed, that they were willing to carry out attacks in America themselves. The plans to carry out these attacks were rejected by a very displeased Kennedy, and it took nearly 40 years for the plans to be declassified, but it makes me wonder: what else has the Chiefs of Staff been cooking up all this time? And, is there a possibility that one of these dastardly plans could have been approved by a less than moral administration?

 

Only time will tell, but considering that many records of the War on Terror have been "lost" or misplaced, there is a very real possibility that the general public may never find out the truth. There is one thing to learn about this, and that is the ability to recognize the capacity of powerful men to concoct heinous plans, to hide behind secrecy and weapons of war.

 

It is interesting to note that the Joint Chiefs of Staff has not had operational control of the military since 1986. The Goldwater-Nichols act essentially gave the president more direct power over the military. The president now gives an order, the secretary of defense contacts a Unified Combatant Commander, and a part of the world lights up. But of course, we are not an empire.

 

We are a republic of constitutional laws; laws such as the National Defense Authorization Act for 2012, the same one that gives the president the power to indefinitely detain US citizens. NDAA 2012 also added the National Guard to the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

 

Though the Posse Comitatus act of 1878 prevents the president from sending the military into the streets, the National Guard has been under heavy pressure to fall into the hands of the president for quite some time (currently it is under the command of state governors.) The addition of the National Guard was opposed by all the members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, but that didn't stop congress. “There is no compelling military need for this change,” Army Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, said during a hearing before NDAA 2012 was passed.

 

No compelling need was also true when in 2007, congress passed the John Warner Defense Authorization Act, giving the president the power to deploy the National Guard on American streets. The provision in the John Warner act which overturned the Posse Comitatus act was repealed in part some time later; there was simply too much opposition from a public afraid of giving Bush more powers.

 

There seems to be less opposition to giving Obama more powers, even if those powers are essentially the same. Obama himself has called for the creation of a National Defense Civilian Force. There is one thing American jurisprudence has taught me: if your president is forbidden from utilizing the country's reserve military force at will, then he should simply change the name of the reserve military force. There will be nothing civilian about the National Defense Civilian Force; it will be the National Guard renamed, restructured, or merged.

How to Seduce Any Woman

5) Send her a sexy picture. You can use this one as a guide:

4) Write her a love poem. This is an excerpt from a poem I wrote some time ago:
When I saw the soap suds going down your asscrack,
I knew there in the communal shower that you were in trouble
When you allowed me to lube you up,
We both still knew that you would bleed from the heavy friction,
But you loved me so that you still took it

3) Prepare her a special meal:

2) Send her a romantic song:

1) But before you even get to sending her awesome stuff, you need to come up with an opening line that immediately captivates her and lets her know that you're serious and that she's in for a treat:

 

The Cheapest Beer Challenge: Amsterdam

I like beer. The simplicity of that previous statement can't be easily quantified. I like it because, as John Lennon said, "reality is for people who can't handle drugs." Personally, I believe that drugs are for people who can't handle beer.

 

Now, some people can't seem to stomach cheap beer, but I believe that as long as it can be legally sold in a container, it's good enough for me. There are already plenty of wine reviewers out there, but not enough beer reviewers. Well, I wouldn't call myself a beer connoisseur. I'm just a guy who's monetarily-challenged and whose life goal is to find a beer so cheap, that drinking it saves me money.

 

For Science
 

Of course, what country you're in is going to affect beer availability, so I can only vouch for one location at a time. Since I'm currently in Amsterdam, I'll vouch for the beers available here. Part of the selection process involves a very scientific process I have developed myself and which is called, "buy 5 euros of a single brand and drink it all." My review of that beer won't go into detail concerning the palette or the aroma or any of that fancy crap. Instead, I'm going to write about a beer only if I think it delivers enough bang for 5 euros.

 

I've already "tested" nearly every brand of beer in the Albert Heijn, the Vomar, and the Dirk van den Broek supermarket chains. Two beers stood out in the José Abreu Cheap Beer Challenge -- which has been on-going without rest for quite a prolonged period of time now -- and those two beers are: Gulpener Gladiator, and Holtland.

 

Gulpener Gladiator has an alcohol content of 10% and is about 2 euros a liter. It has a sugary kick and slightly bitter aftertaste. Don't expect any more details, it simply taste like something that a man should be able to handle. For 5 euros, I started the New Year's puking over a balcony. Gulpener Gladiator is what I call a "mid-range down-on-his-luck-alcoholic beer," given the sometimes prohibitive price of 2 euros a liter. I began the new year with Gladiator, and I'm inclined to say that so far it has been rewarding in that I began writing again after a half-year hiatus, but also painful in many ways, and not just for my stomach. Gulpener Gladiator giveth pleasure, it also bringeth pain.

 

Gulpener: creative fuel for my third novel

Holtland is "recycable"

Holtland, on the other hand, is what I describe as a "down-on-his-luck rock-bottom-alcoholic beer." It's 76 eurocents a liter, but only 4.2% alcohol. However, given that it's a third as cheap as Gulpener Gladiator, Holtland is hands-down the best way to get some much needed calories. And, given its watery taste, Holtland goes well with almost any food or item deemed safe for human mastication.

 

Moreover, Holtland comes in a "recycable" [sic] steel can, so you could probably get some of those 76 cents back. Also, since it's steel, the beer itself is likely to have a high iron content -- something much needed for an alcoholic.

 

I don't always purchase beer, but when I do, I prefer a very cheap brand. On most days, I'll have a Holtland, but on days when I'm going to a fancy bar and need to smuggle in some beer, I prefer Gulpener Gladiator.

In Dominican Popular Music, Fear of Witchcraft Persists

One of my favorite Dominican artists is Amarfis, who calls his band: "the attack band." Though Amarfis sings about everyday themes, and is far from a religious singer, he is unique because he embraces Afro-spiritualism in his fast-beat merengue. Amarfis' lyrics are more suited to a voodoo ritual than a salsa floor, but somehow he has managed to successfully incorporate Afro-religious lyrics into a modern, danceable rhythm. One Amarfis song that truly embodies the Dominican Republic's Afro-spiritual, musical heritage is the song Yemayá. Yemayá is a Loa, an intermediary for God, in voodoo.

 

Yemayá: quítame lo malo y tíralo en el mar (coro)

Fui donde una bruja

Y me dijo, "Amarfis, tú estás saladito."

La bruja me dijo, "te quieren hacer daño."

"Hay muchos envidiosos que te quieren abajo."

"Te daré una cosa que te cuidará."

"Para el que te tire, no te haga mal."

Aléjalo de mi (coro)

A los envidiosos. A los falsos.

Y a todos esos Judas.

Y para el merenguero que me quiera hacer daño,

Dios se la pagará!

Cuidate!

 

Yemaja: take the evil from me and cast it to the sea (chorus)

I went to a witch

And she told me, "Amarfis, you're under a spell."

"There are many jealous individuals who want to see you down."

"I will give you something that will protect you."

"So that whoever may speak ill of you shall do you no evil."

Cast them away from me (chorus)

To all the jealous ones. All the fakes.

And all the Judas.

And for the merengueros that wants to hurt me,

God shall repay you!

Take care!

 

Another Amarfis song that I personally enjoy is Papá Bocó, or Papá Candelo, another Loa in voodoo. Candelo always says, "Bonswa a la societé."

 

Con un retrato pa'bajo

Y la candela en la boca

Con una vela en la mano

Y rabo de gato en la otra

Y un pañuelo colora'o

Yo tengo un Loa que me ilumina

Y me protege de la gente

Con cuatro velas de a centavo

Y un poquito de aguardiente

La bruja hace su trabajo,

Con un tabaco en la boca

Se dan cuatro zapatazos

Para conseguir la muchacha

Y un pañuelo colora'o

Se cruzan dos alfileres

Pa' conseguir las mujeres

Se mete cebo en los sobres

Ai, bruja, brujita, consigueme esa muchacha!

 

With a portrait upside-down

And fire in the mouth

With a candle in the hand

And a cat's tail in the other

And a red handkerchief

I have a Loa that illuminates me

And protects me from people

With four one-cent candles

And a little bit of aguardiente

The witch does her work,

With a tobacco in her mouth

Smacks the shoe four times

To get the girl

And a red handkerchief

You cross two pins

To get the women

Put wax in the envelope

Oh, witch, little witch, get me that girl!

Why I Skipped My High School Graduation

I was my high school class' valedictorian. I was supposed to give a speech to the 150 or so students in the graduating class and their family members. For my graduation, however, I was in another country.

 

To say that I had an extreme fear of public speaking would be an understatement. I was petrified of having to write something and recite it in front of a crowd, so I simply decided early on during my senior year that I wouldn't bother going to graduation. There was the excuse of money, and more conveniently that I was to meet the Dominican vice-president in recognition of my academic achievements at around the same time I was to graduate.

 

However, the most important aspect of my excuse -- at least to myself -- was that most of the students in my graduating class were virtual strangers to me; at least 50 were heldovers from previous classes. My freshman year, there were over 600 students in my class. I saw with my very own eyes how that number dwindled to less than 100 over a period of 4 years. One Dominican friend, Nairobi, broke his neck in a motorcycle accident. A couple of friends simply disappeared. Another forgot his box cutter from work inside of his bookbag and was expelled under the school's zero tolerance policy, despite our school being vocational and his good record of handling tools inside of the school far more dangerous than a box cutter. I lost faith in the education system's inflexible tyranny that day.

 

Other friends were arrested -- by the armed police officers always present in the hallways -- and transferred to special schools, but most simply failed out. I've seen almost none of those friends who didn't make it past senior year, highlighting the reality that 5/6th of the class was not there by the end of our 4th year. Beyond classmates I saw personally fail, the mathematical reality of the complete failure that schools in the Bronx represented was something that always made me want to run away.

 

When the final days to register for graduation started approaching, and I had to finally decide if I was to truly skip my graduation, I gave myself two choices: I could either speak angrily about the anger I felt, or simply never return. In the end, I never even bothered to pick up my high school diploma, and often have nightmares where I learn that I failed and never found out about it. Besides that, I feel that it was probably better for me to allow many years to past before I reflected on the reality of my educational experience in the Bronx.

 

There were a lot of good teachers, but they were often overworked and distracted by students who simply didn't want to learn. It's not easy to resist constant social pressure, so I can understand that after a long time many teachers would eventually also lose the will to teach. The reality is that I picked up most of what I know outside of school. I guess that when you spend all of your free time behind a computer and on certain websites, you pick up a lot of what you need in life, especially the sarcasm.

 

But I guess in life I needed to be motivated, and that was something that didn't go around much in the Bronx. There was a general feeling of doom, that we would end up in prison. To say that we were treated like criminals would be an understatement. My school had many armed guards before Sandy Hook -- ten years ago -- and it didn't feel safe. It felt like an oppressive police state. Every morning we were subjected to x-ray machines, metal detectors, pat-downs if the metal detector went off, ID swipes, and possible punishment if we did not wear our identification at all times. To cut cost, the machines were turned off at ten and students were prevented entry after that, meaning that since my classes started at ten, arriving even one minute late would force me to be absent the entire day.

 

During my junior year, a student brought in a drano bomb, causing it to explode loudly in one of the classrooms. Though no one was hurt, a SWAT team swarmed the school in full force and the entire student body was subsequently prohibited from bringing in any type of bottle or food item. It was at around the same time that Bloomberg decided to monopolize the vending machines in school with a single company's high-sugar products, but it's not like I had any money to buy food inside of the school anyway, so it doesn't matter. What really irked me was the food ban. As a vegan, I couldn't eat any of the food in the cafeteria. Hell, I probably wouldn't feed the food they gave me to a dog anyway, much less a person.

 

So, I was bitter, and I was afraid of talking in front of a crowd. In the end, those two elements coalesced to keep me from going to my high school graduation.  All I wanted to do was scream at the injustice that I felt at being treated like a criminal and starved on a daily basis. They told me some time ago that they were shutting down my school, but from the way it looks over here, there are many more like it springing up all over the country. Zero tolerance, barred windows, armed guards, and police state equipment won't make American schools as successful as the ones in Northern Europe. On the contrary, they will perpetuate the cycle of violence and victimization that has characterized America's history of racial and gender inequality.